I’m achy…
and lost…
these bones feel rusty.
They creak and moan
shifting under the weight
my body shakes.
Time has been lost
I feel crossed.
Woke up dreaming again,
wondering when
time will feel mended again.
There’s no telling.
STOP: You’re Trying Too Hard.
You’re good enough, I promise!
If you express joy, or grief, or empathy, you will still be a man (if that’s what you want to be).
You don’t have to be a man if that isn’t right for you.
Sure, there are men and women in the world, but there are also a million other genders. In fact, every person in the world has their own unique gender.
Just for today, try not to judge yourself or others by an unachievable standard of masculinity. You may find that your interactions are more genuine, and that you are able to have more compassion and acceptance for yourself.
I closed my eyes
and jumped. Propelled by the weightlessness of
SPACE
and the speed time travels.
I fell through stars
to find my path
by way of azimuths.
The nebulas littered the hollow framework
of everything safe and comfortable.
And the debris, the baggage from years
of living,
clogged the ether surrounding
my movement. It chokes me and I suffocate on
emptiness. This shell, this reliquary,
is waiting
to be shed
and the weight of that,
OH THE CRUSHING WEIGHT
will push me
‘til I no longer
compel my chest To rise and fall
through the night
“I opened my eyes and they were set ablaze…”
“…And I closed my eyes, and saw the sins of the world”
You know that movie, one of the few, that you can watch 20 times in a week; five times in a day? You watch because you smile and laugh inexplicably, as if the writers and directors and actors had somehow found the programming of your physiology, and the scenes of the movie just seem so relatable, so tangible, so freaking nostalgic without any purpose or reason; yet you feel so insipid for laughing and you don’t give a damn. Every second passed immerses you deeper within the story; you laugh and cry with every character. The Holiday is that movie to me!
